I have returned to myself since the last week’s Shadow retreat in San Diego.
I had been able to trust in the process to access and meet the multiple chorus of my witnesses and sub-levels of my personality aspects.
I have been given the taste of honey as I looked into the inner world of the spiritual and holographic universe.
As an adult, I can’t fully say that I have outgrown my childhood ways or weirds, which include the fear of the dark.
I went through a phase of not wanting to go the bathroom by myself because I was afraid that strangers would appear from the dark hallway and grab me,…that is always about as far as I got into that re-run.
So the compromise in my child’s mind was that
I would go into the bathroom but
stay there for the shortest amount of time
to get my business taken care of
by the reflective light from the television
across the living room.
Let’s not even mention the battle
of trying to take daily showers.
I didn’t take them
and as a result
I played the role of the stinky girl
in the elementary classroom/ playground.
Is it more icky to be the stinky girl or the
mother of the stinky girl?
My inspiration and connection to darkness started with
fear/projections/ignorance (like not knowing to turn on the lights)
but what I learned about darkness is how cleverly
it claims gold,
away from the sun’s rays and human eyes
the darkness is rich and fertile
it unfolds all the shadows and aspects
of oneself that “I” would rather not
play with as friend
instead create as foe
in its fested fear juices
these are my strangers from the dark
grabbing me for attention, care, consideration
i pull myself back from them
for their faces
can be too close
and then i see them for their wounds and wisdom
what is your message for me
my dears and does?
i want to embrace them for their wisdom
like squeezing fruit for the juice
but their gifts are not as dripping as
juice from fruit
my journey has seen temptations and trivia
interrupted by the shifting gaze outwards
looking away from the deep gold
to unearth the “nothingness”
“nothing there” is less scary than darkness
“boredom” is less scary than darkness
“no action” is less scary than darkness
there is no fear in darkness;
it is the other side of light
by both we are made whole,
actualized and real human
in connection with the uber soul who seams
the chords through our hearts, minds and bodies
in this breath
holding space for our perfection.
(inhale, exhale, non sequitur)
And yesterday I had the opportunity to be in the same arena along with 13,000 others to hear motivational and inspirational speakers on the very topics of motivation, change and their love of place in this state of America! I was breathing the same air as Gen. Colin Powell, Mayor Rudy Guiliani, Bill Cosby, Southwest Airlines CEO Howard Putnam, Renowned Notre Dame Coach Lou Holtz, President and CEO Steven Forbes, President of Microsoft Rick Belluzzo and Top Sales Training Expert Krish Dhanam.
I feel so blessed with the unbearable lightness of being from these two conferences in the past two weeks. I give myself permission to shine brightly and with intention for the best and highest good for all.
I speak encouragement to those near and far from me.
Consider the purpose of reflecting heaven on earth
during the course of these days and
nights when we surrender-swim
in the collective unconscious.
Text copyright ©2011 by Hae Jung Kwon. All rights reserved.